Thursday, October 7, 2010

Me, Myself, & Lies

On Thursday mornings I participate in a bible study entitled "Me, Myself, & Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild. The study is on our "thought closets." What we spend our time thinking about, our self talk, and how we "wear" it. I, like most other women I know, struggle with my thoughts. I think a lot. Non stop. I have become aware of how negative these thoughts generally are. I am convicted.

So, like most bible studies these days we have "homework" through the week. When we come together we discuss what we learned through the homework then watch a video to prepare us for next week and tie it in to the previous things we have learned. Here I am, doing my homework and I am thinking to myself "I don't get this," "I don't understand where she's going with this"...negative. Ironic, don't ya think? In a study of watching and correcting the negative thoughts, I am having an increase of negative thoughts. UGH.

I then decide to take a week off of the homework. So, I show up to bible study this morning, without having done my homework, and the discussion on the homework was wonderful! I really feel like I got a ton out of it, and was even able to participate freely. But then, I feel like maybe I should have done the homework b/c it was a really great week of insight that I had missed first hand. My next thought went straight to "well, maybe I would not have gotten any of this out of the homework myself if I would have done it." Then I think "Well, why not?"

So, I have come to the conclusion that I am a MESS! (note: negative self talk) HELP!!